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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28172538">There’s Nothing Like Summer In The City</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/justthehopeleft/pseuds/justthehopeleft'>justthehopeleft</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hamilton - Miranda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Multi, glitter! glitter everywhere! glitter in the story! glitter up your ass!, politics! politics everywhere! politics in the story! politics up your ass!, road trip road trip road trip the end of the world road trip, we are communist here and we respect that</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:48:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,492</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28172538</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/justthehopeleft/pseuds/justthehopeleft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ash Jameson cannot legally tell you where she lives.</p><p>She can throw you through a window, though, if that helps. </p><p>Lafayette found that out the hard way.<br/>————-<br/>this is just a fun lil story so far</p><p>uh please do read the tags though</p><p>(this story can also be found on wattpad [same name and username] and snippets may be posted on tumblr [same username] under the tag #tnlsitc)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Maria Reynolds/Margaret "Peggy" Schuyler, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Prologue, Which Is The Only Serious Part Of The Story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Some background for this story before you start:</p><p>- It’s been through six rewrites, the current one is what I refer to as 7th Edition<br/>- I may occasionally reference something from the 4th Edition which was the largest edition and also the cheesiest (hence why I rewrote it)<br/>- Everything you read is thanks to inspiration and loving feedback from my friend Nick</p><p>Anyways, enjoy the story!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>**/**/****, **:**</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>[REDACTED], [REDACTED]</em>
</p>
<p>Once, long ago, the universe began.</p>
<p>There were about four main things in existence.</p>
<p>Then they split in half and became eight different things. Two versions of the same thing, y'know?</p>
<p>Those things were called Primordial Forces, and they were what made up existence.</p>
<p>Now, I'm sure you're wondering- <em>where the fuck is Hamilton?</em></p>
<p>We'll get there. Shush. This is important.</p>
<p>So, eight Primordial Forces, two of each, blah blah.</p>
<p>There was change, represented by Leith (the constant change) and Nialie (the gradual change).</p>
<p>Death, represented by Emórisse (the welcoming embracer who ruled the Halls of the Dead) and Ecleson (who was such a badass lil girl that she could kill you with a touch).</p>
<p>Destruction, represented by Ekkria (just, like, straight-up destruction) and somebody else I can't reveal for plot reasons.</p>
<p>And chaos, represented by myself (also not revealed for plot reasons; just refer to me as your narrator) and a little bitch named Ari Nightlocke.</p>
<p>(Very few of these Forces are plot-relevant, but the fact that some are necessitates that they all be included.)</p>
<p>Well, time went on, and worlds got created, people started existing, creatures started existing, people colonized and murdered each other, etc., etc. </p>
<p>There was one world, though, that has such a low population (7.8 fucking billion people), it's considered a fucking useless data sample. It's also ridiculously small (196.9 million square miles) and only has one sentient species.</p>
<p>There's a 81% chance, as calculated by the most recent technology, that you're on this planet.</p>
<p>It's called Earth, and I fucking hate it. For legal reasons (my girlfriend is a college student there), I can't destroy it, but moons, I wish I could. It's somehow managed to be one of the worst planets I know of, and I helped create most of them.</p>
<p>I really don't understand what Leith sees in it, but she says they have a good basic understanding of chemistry and physics, so I'll hold her to that. </p>
<p>(And you little humans thought 'long-distance' was hard. How big could your 'distance' fucking be?)</p>
<p>Anyways, this little disaster of a planet is the only reason this story exists.</p>
<p>Well, namely, it's the fault of a small girl in government custody.</p>
<p>Alright, alright, fine. She's not a girl. But <em>small woman</em> sounds fucking terrible, doesn't it?</p>
<p>Besides, you get the point.</p>
<p>It's entirely Subject #69530's fault that I'm telling you this fucking story.</p>
<p>Go ahead, laugh at her serial number. But blame the fact that the CIA had 69,529 people listed as test subjects before her for that. Like, what the fuck?</p>
<p>Alright, now. If you're going to keep laughing, I'm going to stop. </p>
<p>Okay? Good.</p>
<p>If it helps, you can call her by her chosen name. We're not trying to be transphobic here. </p>
<p>She goes by Jameson.</p>
<p>Ash Jameson.</p>
<p>And in a month or so from when the story starts, she's gonna get up to some really cool shit.</p>
<p>The Hamilton shit comes in before that, though.</p>
<p>Buckle up, <em>biesille.</em></p>
<p>And let's jump in.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Introducing a Failure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which we meet our most dearly beloved dumbass of a protagonist.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>10/10/2020, 10:14</em>
</p><p>
  <em>324 Emerald Drive, [REDACTED], United States of America, Earth</em>
</p><p>Ash Jameson was going to be the most important person on Earth in approximately five and a half weeks. She'd be given medals and be given speeches, be honored across the globe, and go down in the history books.</p><p>At the moment, though?</p><p>She'd fallen asleep on her dog while watching <em>Tangled</em>.</p><p>Her dog didn't mind.</p><p>Kelsey was, in fact, one of the few things Ash was allowed to get for herself.</p><p>(Needless to say, the government did not know about the seventeen VPNs she used on a daily basis to pirate shit.)</p><p>Ash, of course, being the only test subject who hadn't dramatically failed, was supposedly given 'special privileges', but all that really meant was that the government treated her in a manner that vaguely honored her rights. </p><p>And having a dog, she'd decided, fell under her ninth amendment right to have other rights. </p><p>As the movie ended, Kelsey, being a dog, and therefore a being with limited patience, stood up and knocked Ash off the couch.</p><p>"Hey! Fuck off, I was sleeping."</p><p>(After she'd used her eighth-grade education and demanded the government respect her fourth amendment right to privacy and also some goddamn happiness, they'd taken the listening devices out. This was something she used often, mostly for cursing and plotting government-overthrowing plans.)</p><p>Groggily, Ash climbed back up onto the couch. "Oh, c'mere, fuckface, it's okay, baby girl. Give cuddles, okay? Cuddles!"</p><p>Within the next five hours, both her and Kelsey's lives were about to change dramatically, and Ash could vaguely sense that. It had felt like an auspicious day when she went to sleep at six am.</p><p>Of course, neither Kelsey nor her beloved owner could've predicted that it would've actually changed in that second.</p><p>Something <em>cracked</em> outside, and Ash whipped around.</p><p>(Being kept under government surveillance, no matter how light, tends to make one paranoid. And with hyperactivity, everything became much quicker, trust me.)</p><p>"What the <em>fuck</em> was that?"</p><p>Kelsey whined, having absolutely no idea what was going on.</p><p>Carefully, Ash crept to the door, and then promptly kicked it open, grabbing the nearest weapon she could find.</p><p>That was the moment her life changed forever.</p><p>Because, you see, on her doorstep, there stood a rather confused and very disoriented man.</p><p>"Who the fuck are- <em>Daveed Diggs</em>?" Ash screeched loudly.</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>"What are you- oh my god, I have to call my friend, um- Jesus, shit, uh-"</p><p>"Are you alright?"</p><p>"Wait, shit, you're French!"</p><p>The man blinked. "Er- yes? That would be correct?"</p><p>"<em>LAFAYETTE</em>?" Ash yelled, even louder than her previous screech.</p><p>"Actually, yes, that's me. How did you know?"</p><p>"You're Daveed Diggs... but French. I dunno. Fuck, I though you were fictional! Or, at least, this version of you, because obviously Old White Dude Lafayette is real, but... fucking <em>hell</em>, this opens so many possibilities!"</p><p>Lafayette stared at Ash, for good reason.</p><p>After all, it isn't <em>every</em> day you appear on somebody's doorstep and find out that it's a 4'11 woman with a sword who's clearly in the middle of a breakdown or something.</p><p>"Oh my <em>god</em>," Ash muttered. "You're from an alternate reality! That is so! <em>Fucking</em>! Cool!"</p><p>"There's only one reality, I'm afraid," Lafayette said kindly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way."</p><p>Ash laughed.</p><p>And kept laughing.</p><p>Very obnoxiously.</p><p>On purpose.</p><p>"Boy, if you think you're going anywhere," she snorted. "The entire property's fenced in, buckaroo. If you don't wanna get on the government's radar, you're sticking with me."</p><p>"And what if I want to be on the government's radar?"</p><p>Ash pointed the sword at him. "Listen here, buddy. Clearly you lived in a different America than me. Well, yeah, no shit, that's the point of an alternate reality, but you get it. You, my dear dumbass, are from... what, 1780... 1793, according to how you're dressed, and let me just tell you, you do not mess with our fucking government."</p><p>"You make it sound like it's a bad thing. The government, that is," Lafayette stated calmly.</p><p>"Oho. Oho. Ohohohohoho. It is. It absolutely is. Definitely. Listen, fucker, there is way too much shit to tell you everything, so you get your ass inside. Now."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"I have finally been given a friend from another reality," Ash spat, "and I refuse to let you be a conservative for another minute. Now, before I skewer you and make you Bouncy Baguette Boy kabab, you're going inside, and you're shutting your fucking mouth."</p><p>"I'll have you know that I'm older, and-"</p><p>"Oh, loosen up, motherfucker. Blah, blah, blah. Get in, or get murdered, because I just woke up and I have very little patience."</p><p>With the not-so-gentle reminder of Ash's sword poking in his back, Lafayette made his way inside, muttering curses under his breath.</p><p>"Right, now, take a seat," Ash commanded, slamming the front door, "and let us begin."</p><p>"With what?"</p><p>"Christ, dude, chill. I thought you'd be way more like how you used to be in like... 1781."</p><p>"I've matured."</p><p>"Arguable. You know, the first thing that develops on a human fetus is the asshole."</p><p>"And?" Lafayette sniffed.</p><p>"You've gone back to that stage."</p><p>"You've known me for two minutes-"</p><p>Ash raised an eyebrow and pointed the sword at a chair. "<em>Sit</em>."</p><p>Lafayette sat.</p><p>"Now," Ash smiled, "let's talk history, and the difference between my reality and yours."</p><p>And so began the story of how Ash Jameson saved the world: with her being a little bit of a bitch.</p><p>Don't worry.</p><p>She'll get bitchier as it continues.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Lesbian, The European, And The Audacity of Macaroni</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>More trouble comes to our dumbass’s life.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>10/10/2020, 11:23</em>
</p><p>
  <em>324 Emerald Drive, [REDACTED], United States of America, Earth</em>
</p><p>"And so, in short, whatever your reality was like, this one is much worse. Unfortunately, to my knowledge, we have no way of sending you back, so you're stuck with me."</p><p>"That is unfortunate," Lafayette groaned.</p><p>"Shut up. Anyways, do you want a snack or should we move on to political theory?"</p><p>"Snack."</p><p>Ash laughed. "Cookies?"</p><p>"Absolutely."</p><p>"Chocolate chip or snickerdoodle?"</p><p>"I thought snickerdoodles were German, not American."</p><p>"Didn't I just tell you this?" Ash sighed. "We're American. We take <em>everything</em>."</p><p>This was, of course, an entirely true fact. My girlfriend has complained about it to me on more than one occasion. </p><p>America, as far as I can tell, is a useless piece of shit. I know at least five people who are thoroughly convinced that Broadway is the only good thing it's ever produced.</p><p>(Caroline is very vehement in the belief that Starbucks is a close second, but she doesn't come into this story yet, so we'll just ignore her.)</p><p>"Fair enough," Lafayette conceded, standing up. "Are you going to bake them?"</p><p>"Yeah, probably. Why?"</p><p>"You mentioned that as capitalism grows more controlling in America, more and more people buy things instead of making them."</p><p>"Oh my god," Ash gasped. "Wait, you actually listened to all of that? Most people don't do that! Listen to me, that is."</p><p>Lafayette stared at Ash. "What the hell is your life like?"</p><p>"Very traumatic."</p><p>"That makes sense."</p><p>"Yeah. It usually does. So, um, get out the sugar. And cinnamon. And flour, eggs, milk-"</p><p>"Calm down. I'll get there, mon petit idiote."</p><p>"Connard."</p><p>"You speak French?" Lafayette shrieked, ignoring the fact that Ash had just called him an asshole.</p><p>"I speak a lot of things," Ash shrugged. "English, Russian, French, German, some Irish and Norwegian, and a bit of rough Scottish. Keeps me busy. There was a whole year where learning languages was all I hyperfocused on. Terrible for the CIA, fun for me."</p><p>"CIA?"</p><p>Ash tossed a spoon at him.</p><p>"Oh, right, right. Your caretakers."</p><p>"I prefer the term '<em>involuntary parental figures</em>'. Mainly because my parents never gave a shit about me, and neither does the CIA."</p><p>"Christ, you <em>are</em> traumatized."</p><p>"Welcome to hell!" Ash sang. </p><p>"From the sound of America, I'd say we're already there."</p><p>And then-</p><p>
  <em>crack</em>
</p><p>and Ash's world changed again, a bit for the worse.</p><p>"Fucking hell!" she screeched, jumping on top of the counter.</p><p>"What was that?"</p><p>"I don't know, you're tall, look out the window or something!"</p><p>Lafayette wandered to the window and peered out. "Mon dieu!"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"It's Thomas!"</p><p>"Thomas who? Thomas Paine? Thomas Edison? Thomas Eliot? Thomas Moore? The apostle guy? Thomas Cromwell? Tom Holland? Tom Hiddleston? Tom Cruise?"</p><p>"Thomas Jefferson!" Lafayette laughed delightedly, clapping.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Get him off my property," Ash demanded.</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"No buts. I refuse to have a slaveowner on my property. Let alone that one in particular."</p><p>"Thomas wasn't a- oh. Right. Alternate history."</p><p>"Wait, hang on, is it Hamilton the Musical Jefferson or Historical Piece of Shit Jefferson?"</p><p>"The one who looks like me," Lafayette sighed. "Christ."</p><p>"Oh, okay, let him in," Ash agreed. "I'll just antagonize him more quietly."</p><p>"Why antagonize him at all?"</p><p>"Because <em>fuck</em> Thomas Jefferson."</p><p>"Mm, fair enough. How does the door open?"</p><p>"Turn the knob at the same time as you slide the latch." Ash hopped off the counter. "Otherwise it won't work."</p><p>Lafayette opened the door, and in came the man who would make our dearest protagonist's life a living hell.</p><p>Well, even more of a living hell than it generally was.</p><p>"Gilbert!"</p><p>"Thomas, mon ami, how have you been?"</p><p>"Where the fuck am I?" Jefferson demanded.</p><p>"Earth. 2020. I'm not going through the PowerPoint again until I'm certain no other annoying motherfuckers are gonna pop up. Just roll with the shit, okay?" Ash said, bursting into laughter at the sight of Jefferson's very disheveled bright magenta coat.</p><p>"Ash, are you-" Lafayette began.</p><p>"God, it's worse than I imagined."</p><p>"Earth?"</p><p>"No," Ash snorted. "The coat."</p><p>"My coat is perfectly fine!" Jefferson sniffed. </p><p>"Sir, I hate to inform you of this," Ash began, "but you dress like a millennial lesbian in an antique shop."</p><p>"A what?"</p><p>"Anyways," Lafayette intervened quickly, "Thomas, this is my new friend, and our <em>host</em>, Ash. Ash, this is-"</p><p>"I know who the fuckface is."</p><p>"Right, okay, then." </p><p>Jefferson stood awkwardly between Lafayette and Ash, who was still glaring at him.</p><p>"Er, well, I'm Thomas Jefferson," he said anyways, ignoring Lafayette's very drawn-out sigh. "Secretary of State-"</p><p>"And professional quiet bitch, I know," Ash deadpanned. "I'm Ash Jameson."</p><p>"You live here alone?"</p><p>"No, I have a dog somewhere. And there used to be an Alexa but I broke it."</p><p>"No husband or father?" Jefferson pressed.</p><p>"Jefferson, my dear sir, I would advise against angering me." Ash cracked a knuckle casually. "I will both destroy you in a debate and throw you through a window."</p><p>Lafayette nodded. "And I wouldn't test her debate skills if I were you."</p><p>"Well, at least Hamilton isn't here."</p><p>Jefferson, of course, would be proven wrong within the next half hour. </p><p>"Absolutely. Fuck Hamilton," Ash agreed, nodding wildly and tapping her foot.</p><p>"You dislike him?"</p><p>"Oh, I <em>hate</em> him. Almost as much as I hate historical you."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I'll explain later. Laf, are the cookies-"</p><p>"<em>Shit,</em>" Lafayette gasped as the smell of burning cookies filled the air.</p><p>Jefferson laughed.</p><p>And outside the house, with a nearly imperceptible crack, King George Frederick William the Third appeared.</p><p>Welcome, one and all, to the shitshow that Jameson's life is about to become.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. In Which Ash Makes Several Good And Overly Political Points</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>And even more complications arrive.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>10/10/2020, 11:30</em>
</p><p>
  <em>324 Emerald Drive, [REDACTED], United States of America, Earth</em>
</p><p>Ash Jameson slammed the door of her oven.</p><p>"You burnt the fucking cookies, <em>Gilbert</em>?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Is that King George?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"King George," Jefferson repeated. "Outside."</p><p>"What the fuck? King fucking George? The Third? Monarch of Britain?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Okay, first off," Ash spat, "I should never be allowed within fifty feet of any monarch at all, but a <em>British</em> one? Gilbert, hand me another sword.</p><p>"What- don't kill him!"</p><p>"To be honest, it should be my god-given right as an Irish American to slaughter that bastard and any of his line."</p><p>"I mean, I support you in this," Jefferson interrupted. "But murder?"</p><p>"Murder."</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"Bitch, please, either I kill him or the Feds do, take your pick."</p><p>"Why are you so intent on killing him? He's just standing there!" </p><p>"He's a <em>war criminal</em>, my dear Marquis. Come to think of it, you probably are too, but he's <em>British</em>."</p><p>"Alright, well, Laf," Jefferson shrugged, "hand her the sword and open the door, let's get this over with."</p><p>"You have the moral backbone of a limp strand of spaghetti," Lafayette hissed.</p><p>"At least I have a moral backbone, my dearest dramatic ass French fry."</p><p>Ash choked. "Your- <em>what</em>?"</p><p>"Oh, god damn it, shut your mouth. You wear <em>magenta</em>, and you claim to have morals?"</p><p>"Why do my fashion choices have an effect on my morals?"</p><p>"Because they're fucking stupid!"</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"So are you!"</p><p>"Ah, well, excuse me," Jefferson snapped, "but I'd rather like to see this little wisp of a woman try to murder a king."</p><p>"It's called regicide," Ash yelled, "and I'm not a wisp."</p><p>Jefferson raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"It's only because I'm wearing a hoodie and you can't see my arms. If I took it off..."</p><p>"Just go kill him," Lafayette sighed.</p><p>"As you wish," Ash winked, and she twirled out the door.</p><p>"We probably should've stopped her."</p><p>"Yeah. Probably."</p><p>———————</p><p>"Good day," George nodded, greeting his future attacker rather amiably. "Could you perhaps tell me where I am?"</p><p>"Actually," Ash smiled cheerily, "I can't. Government secrets."</p><p>"Oh, do you work for the government?"</p><p>"The government fucking owns me, bitch. Anyways, formalities over, how do you like the idea of dying within the next minute?"</p><p>Ash was perhaps a bit needlessly violent, but in all fairness, this was a British monarch, so it was probably justified. </p><p>"Er, that sounds rather... uncomfortable."</p><p>"Too bad," Ash smirked, lifting her sword.</p><p>"Wait-" </p><p>And-</p><p><em>crack</em>-</p><p>Alexander Hamilton fell on top of the rather unfortunate king.</p><p>"Fuck!" he shouted, angrily shoving at the ground. </p><p>"Fuck indeed," Ash agreed, caught off guard. "Who the fuck are you?"</p><p>"Alex- Alexander Hamilton. Secretary of the Treasury."</p><p>"When were you, just now?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"What time was it? What year?" Ash demanded.</p><p>"Why, the same one I'd say it is now," Alex answered hesitantly, "except I'm not sure where I am and you're dressed awfully strangely."</p><p>"Well, forgive me for not having a historically accurate 1793 ballgown. I hyperfocused on those last year." </p><p>"How did you know it's 1793?"</p><p>"Well," Ash paused, considering, "for one thing, you're alive, but you also introduced yourself as Secretary. And Laffy Taffy over there-" she pointed vaguely at the house "-came from 1793 too."</p><p>"Laffy taffy... LAFAYETTE? HE'S HERE?"</p><p>"Who's Lafayette?" George asked, picking himself up and dusting off his clothes neatly. "And who are all of you?"</p><p>"Oh, yeah, because that'd work so well. Hi, I'm Ash, I'm twenty, and I'm gay. Good enough?"</p><p>"Gay?"</p><p>"I will explain later," Ash sighed, not bothering to check whether George or Alex had spoken. "Maybe when your boyfriend gets here."</p><p>"My what- I'm married!" Alex coughed indignantly. "And happily!"</p><p>"Until August 25, 1797. Point is, I'm your host, you're from an alternate reality, and I will explain everything eventually."</p><p>"What year is it?" George asked timidly.</p><p>"Twenty-fucking-twenty."</p><p>"I gather you're upset with that?" </p><p>"Immensely." </p><p>"What do you mean I'm only happily married until August 1797?" Alexander shouts, scrambling after Ash. "Explain that, please?"</p><p>"Later, fucker."</p><p>"No, come... back!"</p><p>"Fuck off."</p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>Ash yanked George inside and slammed the door in Alexander's  face. </p><p>As, of course, any sane person would.</p><p>Whether Ash <em>counts</em> as a sane person is, naturally, debatable. In all fairness, she's quite the dumbass bitch.</p><p>But as the narrator of this story, she's <em>my</em> dumbass bitch, and therefore we unfortunately have to stick with this idiot.</p><p>Anyway, let's return to our regularly scheduled Political Ash Jameson. </p><p>Lafayette blinked. "Er, you are going to let that other guy in, right? Who is it?"</p><p>"My fifth-worst enemy. After the American government and all it's officials, Historical Thomas Jefferson, Margaret Thatcher, and any and all British monarchs. It's <em>Alexander Hamilton</em>."</p><p>"Oh, how terrible- why am I your fourth worst enemy?" George whined. </p><p>"Because I hate the British," Ash shrugged, shoving her sword into its sheath on the wall. "I mean, I hate Margaret Thatcher specifically, but pretty much any British official is subject to my wrath. Same for most Americans. I make an exception for AOC and the leader of the Socialist party. Also probably Bernie Sanders and any other leftists. We don't have very many of those, though."</p><p>"Leftist-"</p><p>"Shut up, Laffy Taffy, you're the one who wanted a snack instead of political theory."</p><p>"Who's AOC?" Jefferson asked.</p><p>"Well, political Ash says she's one of the most influential leftist leaders in American politics, a New York delegate in the House of Representatives, the probable president in 2024, and a fucking icon. Gay Ash says pretty lady."</p><p>"Gay- you still haven't explained that," Lafayette noted. </p><p>"I will <em>get. To. It.</em>"</p><p>"Okay!"</p><p>"Let me in!" Alexander yelled, muffled by the door he was pounding on.</p><p>"Fuck off!" Jefferson screamed back.</p><p>There was an awkward silence as George tripped over a bookshelf and everyone else froze.</p><p>"<em>Jefferson</em>?"</p><p>"Hamilton."</p><p>Lafayette clapped with glee and opened the door.</p><p>Alex stormed in, hair messed and coat dirty. "Jefferson, you son of a- <em>hey</em>!"</p><p>He toppled to the floor, revealing Ash behind him, sword pommel raised.</p><p>"Well, that makes one problem solved," she grinned. </p><p>George backed away unsteadily.</p><p>"We can come up with a compromise, okay, Mr. Royal Motherfucker? Right, good. Actually, I think Hamilbitch got knocked out. Maybe toss him on a couch. Is everybody here no-"</p><p>Ash had a talent for jinxing the exact moment something happened.</p><p>You've probably guessed it, being as wise as you are. And if you haven't, no shame on you, because nobody else saw this coming.</p><p>(I, being the narrator, saw it coming. I saw everything coming.)</p><p>Anyway, a loud <em>crack</em> echoed through the house.</p><p>And Angelica Schuyler tumbled into the kitchen.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. We Meet The Space Lesbians (And They Complain About Shit)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The plot thickens!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>23:08, October 10, Arindate 3</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Planet #879203, Iekholle</em>
</p>
<p>Cudite glanced at her notes again. </p>
<p>"Y'know, Chass, if we just transfer the funds into our own account, we can easily afford this."</p>
<p>Chassania sighed. "103, you know as well as I do that that's illegal."</p>
<p>"And we've given a fuck since when?"</p>
<p>"Since the gov'ment fucking hired us. You wanna steal their own money? Don't use it f'r a fucking goverm'nt mission! It's not that fuckin' hard."'</p>
<p>"I swear," Cudite sighed, leaning back in her chair and tossing the notebook on the desk, "someday I'm going to leave this fucking job, and I'm gonna be so fuckin' happy. Just you wait. No more missions on demand."</p>
<p>"Where you gonna go, though? Nimlorth got fuckin' destroyed," Chassania demanded, popping her gum. </p>
<p>"Probably be a freelance assassin."</p>
<p>"Same."</p>
<p>"Work together?" Cudite proposed half-heartedly.</p>
<p>"All due respe't, but fuck nah."</p>
<p>"Yeah. I'll probably find a crew that's hiring and make my way up from there. Be a professional gunman for the biggest name in the universe, not just a secret agent for hire."</p>
<p>"Do you wanna quit, though?" Chassania asked, spinning around to face Cudite. "I mean, c'mon, you're like a shapeshifter. You could get dramatically fired for so many different things."</p>
<p>"Don't want that on my record, though."</p>
<p>"Mhm."</p>
<p>The two fall into silence.</p>
<p>"Which government is this, anyways?"</p>
<p>"Earth. Some fuck'r wants to stage a coup in Novem'er."</p>
<p>"Planet 69042 gets up to some crazy shit, huh? It's got like, the second largest number of countries per cubic mile? Wild place."</p>
<p>"I know, my family's from there. You ever been?"</p>
<p>"No. Would you recommend it?"</p>
<p>"Absolutely not," Chassania spat. "I like it there, but for you? Hell no."</p>
<p>"That bad, huh?"</p>
<p>"Eh, let's just put it this way: if you weren't as strong as you are, you'd be killed within a month, tops."</p>
<p>"Goddesses."</p>
<p>Chassania nodded solemnly, passively juggling an unloaded revolver. "Gotta give it to 'em, though. Those little Earth fuckers know their way around weapons. They fuckin' explain murder for fun on their little fun websites they make."</p>
<p>(<b>*cough cough* tumblr *cough cough*</b>)</p>
<p>"So, anyways, should we focus on the coup shit? Who the hell is it, anyways?" Cudite asked, sitting up.</p>
<p>"Some fucker. I dunno. You're the techie, pull up his file yourself. I'm a sniper, I don't do that shit."</p>
<p>Cudite sighed and grabbed her pad. "Troomp?"</p>
<p>"Trump," Chassania corrected. "That's what the weir' scratchy guy on the call said."</p>
<p>"He feels terrible. His hair scares me. Hell, even his policies are worse than I was expecting."</p>
<p>"I know, right? It's fuckin' garbage."</p>
<p>"Paying garbage."</p>
<p>"Still garbage."</p>
<p>Cudite shrugged. "Don't have much choice. SIELE makes the picks."</p>
<p>"And fuckin' SIELE decided that we were the best people to do the mission. Us. Out of all the thousand-somethin' agents for hire it's got. <em>Us.</em>"</p>
<p>"A job is a job."</p>
<p>"Get a moral backbone."</p>
<p>"The second I have enough for my own way off this stupid fucking planet," Cudite sighed. "Then, Chass, <em>then</em> I can make my own choices."</p>
<p>Soon, though they didn't know it, Cudite would become vastly more important than her partner, bringing this story to its thrilling start.</p>
<p>----------------------------</p>
<p>
  <em>10/10/2020, 11:49</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>324 Emerald Drive, [REDACTED], United States of America, Earth</em>
</p>
<p>"ANGELICA CHURCH?" Thomas screeched, scrambling away from the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Oh my god, Angelica Schuyler?" Ash yelled. </p>
<p>"What the fuck?" Angelica shouted, climbing to her feet. </p>
<p>George stared at Angelica warily. "Should I be scared of her-"</p>
<p>"Yeah, probably," Ash shrugged. "I mean, it's Angelica Schuyler."</p>
<p>"That's not reassuring!"</p>
<p>"Wasn't meant to be."</p>
<p>"Who are you- THOMAS JEFFERSON?"</p>
<p>Jefferson dove over the couch in an attempt to hide.</p>
<p>Eh, what can I say. He's an idiot.</p>
<p>(They're all idiots, but him in particular.)</p>
<p>Ash was about to step forward and introduce herself when-</p>
<p><em>crack</em>-</p>
<p>Eliza Schuyler dropped to the ground in front of her. </p>
<p>"Fucking hell! Jesus Christ, oh my god!" Ash screamed, instinctively reaching for a sword. "<em>ELIZA</em>?" </p>
<p>"Eliza!" Angelica yelled.</p>
<p>And-</p>
<p>
  <em>crack-</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>crack-</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>crack- </em>
</p>
<p>Three more people landed near Eliza in a crash that somehow managed to sound both terribly painful and ridiculously amusing. </p>
<p>Ash screamed again, but without swearing this time. </p>
<p>Angelica shrieked too, and Lafayette certainly wasn't helpful right then. </p>
<p>George scrambled around the couch (the particular one that Alexander was still unconscious on) and hid with Jefferson. </p>
<p>"Oh my god," Ash screeched, shaking her hands violently. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."</p>
<p>She hesitated. </p>
<p>"Where the fuck did they come from? They should have at least five broken bones!" </p>
<p>"They just- appeared!" Angelica yelled. "Like I did!" </p>
<p>"Damn right! Now what do we do- Lafayette, get over here, I think they're all knocked out. Jefferson- oh my god he passed out. He passed out." </p>
<p>Ash paused to take a breath.</p>
<p>"HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, startling Kelsey, who'd run upstairs and was cowering in one of the surprisingly many bedrooms.</p>
<p>(When you're a government test subject, your housing is kind of picked for you. When you're a <em>rich</em> government test subject, well... money is a very powerful social construct. I think my girlfriend's best friend invented it. Anyway, the point is, money opens many doors. Especially ones in big houses.) </p>
<p>"Get up, George, you idiotic motherfucker, and help! Jefferson passed out!" </p>
<p>"That a good thing?" George asked warily, eyeing the sword a meter away from where Ash was dancing.</p>
<p>"Best thing!" </p>
<p>"I- oka-"</p>
<p><em>crack</em>- </p>
<p>Theodosia Burr landed neatly on her feet directly behind George. </p>
<p>"OH MY GOD IT'S A CHILD!" Ash yelled, grabbing a sword (somehow) and swinging it over to point directly at Theo.</p>
<p>Theo's jaw dropped.</p>
<p>"IS THAT A SWORD?" she yelled, eyes lighting up. "THAT IS SO COOL!" </p>
<p>"HERCULES!" Lafayette screamed as he pulled his friend to his feet. "YOU'RE BLEEDING!"</p>
<p>True enough, he'd slammed his head into the edge of the wall on his dramatic path towards the floor and now had a sizable cut above his right eye.</p>
<p>Ash punched herself in the mouth. </p>
<p>(Well, she lightly tapped her mouth with her fist. Sometimes you can't really describe stims without sounding weird.)</p>
<p>Everything was happening all at once, and it was making her very stressed.</p>
<p>Theo started crying.</p>
<p>"Okay, Lafayette, you get something to help Mulligan," Angelica directed, taking charge of the situation. "You, with the stupid white hair, help me get everybody up and taken care of. You-" she pointed at Ash "-stop doing that with your hand and make the kid happy." </p>
<p>Ash only did her tapping faster. </p>
<p>(My girlfriend does that a lot. She gets really stressed after a long day at college. Sometimes the best course of action is just letting her ride it out.) </p>
<p>Angelica groaned and got to work.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Swords Are Heavy And- Oh Shit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>10/10/2020, 12:17</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>324 Emerald Drive, [REDACTED], United States of America, Earth</em>
</p>
<p>In the 28 minutes since Angelica Schuyler had taken charge, Ash Jameson's living room had turned into a sort of sickbay.</p>
<p>The still unconscious Hamilton and Jefferson had been laid out on couches and had been given ice packs; Mulligan's cut had been tended to and he was reading some children's book, making a list of every word he didn't know; Theodosia'd been given a lollipop and had immediately calmed down to try it; Eliza was awake and was helping John Laurens make chicken soup; Lafayette was curled up on a pillow and sleeping; Kelsey had run downstairs; and Philip Hamilton had fallen asleep on her back.</p>
<p>George slumped at the kitchen table, his hair messed up from the numerous times he'd run his fingers through it. Angelica sat across from him, examining a history book Ash had given her.</p>
<p>(It was fully annotated by Ash; the margins were full of little notes describing the actual history and detailing the inaccuracies.)</p>
<p>Ash herself was thoroughly exhausted, yet she still stood at the fridge determinedly, passing ingredients to Eliza and Laurens. She'd pulled her hair up into a ponytail, revealing her undercut, and she'd hit her head rather badly against a cabinet.</p>
<p>It fell silent in the kitchen, with only an occasional hushed murmur from Eliza to get a different kind of herb or a startled gasp from Angelica when she discovered the truth of some controversy or other.</p>
<p>Finally, George broke the silence.</p>
<p>"So- um, what comes next?" </p>
<p>Ash snorted. </p>
<p>"No, seriously, is there anybody else-"</p>
<p>As if in response to his question (and believe me, it was), a much louder <em>crack</em> echoed through the hallway. </p>
<p>"Fuck!" Ash yelled, very loudly, startling Theo so badly she almost dropped her lollipop.</p>
<p>Lafayette woke up with a shout and stared around wildly.</p>
<p>"Something wrong?" Mulligan asked quietly, looking up from his book.</p>
<p>"I'll go find them," Angelica sighed wearily, putting down the textbook and using George's hand as a bookmark. </p>
<p>She swept off with a swirl of slightly dirty pink skirts billowing behind her.</p>
<p>Eliza smiled softly at her sister's abrupt leaving and took the parsley from Laurens. "Hand me the salt," she instructed gently. "And more basil would be lovely."</p>
<p>Ash slammed the fridge door and stumbled over to the kitchen table, sitting on top of it. "I wonder who the fuck's arrived to torment me now."</p>
<p>"Hopefully not Burr," Mulligan smirked, wandering over to the kitchen. "I don't like him."</p>
<p>"It's Aaron Burr!" Angelica yelled, running back to the kitchen, dragging a very confused person behind her</p>
<p>"<em>Damn</em>."</p>
<p>Ash squinted. </p>
<p>It was indeed Aaron Burr.</p>
<p>"You!" she shrieked, startling Theo again. "Motherfucker!"</p>
<p>"Yes?" Burr asked nervously.</p>
<p>"Fuck you!" Ash laughed. "You're like my favorite historical figure! Which says absolutely nothing, I just hate you the least." </p>
<p>"I-"</p>
<p>Theo barreled into the room, latching onto Burr, lollipop long since finished.</p>
<p>"<em>Dad</em>!" </p>
<p>"Theo!" </p>
<p>Clumsily, Burr sat down on the floor as best he could, gently unwinding himself from his daughter's grasp. "I was wondering where you'd vanished to," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Theo's head.</p>
<p>Angelica sat down at the table again and pulled her history book away from George.</p>
<p>Eliza took the chair next to her, leaving Laurens to tend to the soup.</p>
<p>Lafayette stood up and stretched, glancing across the room.</p>
<p>"Thomas is waking up!" he laughed. </p>
<p>"Hell no," Ash spat, scrambling over to the couch. "Hand me my sword."</p>
<p>"Wouldn't that cause some sort of cognitive dissonance?" George wondered, but nobody paid him any attention.</p>
<p>(In all fucking fairness, he was right, but he was also incredibly annoying at the current moment.)</p>
<p>"Knock him out!" Angelica yelled, pumping her fist in the air. </p>
<p>"Angelica!" Eliza reprimanded. </p>
<p>Ash reached for the sword Mulligan was handing to her. "I should just do this constantly- hey!"</p>
<p>Lafayette tried to wrestle the sword away from her. "Put- it- <em>down</em>!"</p>
<p>"Fuck off," Ash snapped, easily tugging the sword back from him.</p>
<p>He stepped in her way, holding out his hands to stop her from reaching Jefferson.</p>
<p>With a sigh, Ash dropped the sword, stepped toward Lafayette, and  picked him up as if he were no heavier than a Pomeranian.</p>
<p>Then she threw him through a window. </p>
<p>"What the- how did you- wh-" Mulligan spluttered. </p>
<p>Ash shrugged and picked her sword up again. </p>
<p>Burr stared warily at Ash. "Now you have a broken window."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I don't give a fuck. Anyway, I'm Ash, nice to fucking meet you, thou piece of utter shit."</p>
<p>"I have questions?" Laurens intervened, abandoning the soup. </p>
<p>"Then I wouldst entreat thee," Ash snapped, spinning around, "to <em>suck my fucking dick</em>."</p>
<p>"Wha-"</p>
<p>"Shut thy mouth, thou dumbass."</p>
<p>"I think you need a nap, honey," Eliza suggested. </p>
<p>"YOU," Ash yelled at her, "NEED A <em>NAP</em>!"</p>
<p>Somebody knocked on the door. </p>
<p>"Fuck off!"</p>
<p>Lafayette opened the door and stumbled in, his nose bleeding.</p>
<p>George stood up and began to walk silently toward where Ash's sword lay. </p>
<p>"Motherfucker, I will throw you out the <em>fucking</em> window again, do not fucking test me," Ash screamed, "I swear to-"</p>
<p>She crumpled to the floor."</p>
<p>George dropped the sword.</p>
<p>(He'd been expecting it to weigh like five pounds from how easily Ash swung it. It actually weighed about twenty.)</p>
<p>"What?" he shrugged. "<em>Someone</em> had to do it."</p>
<p>"Fair enough," Angelica conceded. "Do Jefferson next?"</p>
<p>----------------------------</p>
<p>
  <em>16:34, October 10, Arindate 3, 2020 AD</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Judgement Hall, Official's Square, Kieerole</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Planet #91749, Lusain</em>
</p>
<p>Ari Nightlocke surveyed the scene. One of the few remaining billionaires in Lusain and his friend group of notorious Krepaetist fascists were gathered in the square below. </p>
<p>They were at her mercy. </p>
<p>She pulled up a hologram and checked the time.</p>
<p>
  <em>16:34.</em>
</p>
<p>In one minute they would be filing inside the building she was perched on and gathering in the dining hall for a business meeting over dinner. </p>
<p>And she'd be slipping the nightshade into their wine.</p>
<p>Ari grinned to herself, pulled up her hood, and vanished into the shadows of the roof, slipping down to the basement where the cooks were busy bringing out the meal.</p>
<p>She recorded her thoughts on another hologram hidden inside her cloak, cautiously typing with one hand and holding the bottle of nightshade with the other.</p>
<p>-<em>Agloro Meyer has no sense of style</em></p>
<p>
  <em>-No, seriously, what the fuck are these pillars</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Everyone knows marble and klachter don't fucking work well together</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Shit</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Out of wolfsbane and dimmre</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Dammit dimmre is so fucking rare</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Shit I need liugjta and opiass too</em>
</p>
<p>Ari sighed silently and ducked behind a pillar as the servant carrying the wine marched past her.</p>
<p>Good. </p>
<p>Just a little closer and-</p>
<p>her fingers flew, uncorking the bottle and pouring it into the pitcher, enchanting it to be tasteless and soundless-</p>
<p>the wine glistened for a bit-</p>
<p>and Ari recorked the bottle and slipped back into the shadows.</p>
<p>She followed the servant into the dining hall, watching, waiting for the seven men sitting at the table to drink the wine.</p>
<p>It was their habit, she'd learned, to drink their wine first, and eat later.</p>
<p>(Perhaps it wasn't the best way to conduct business meetings, but Agloro attributed his success to the fact that he was always slightly drunk.)</p>
<p>She watched with bated breath as they poured wine into their goblets and toasted each other, taking that first precious sip.</p>
<p>And Ari was gone the second the convulsions began.</p>
<p>She reappeared on the roof again as she pushed her hood back.</p>
<p>"Not even a paying mission," she laughed quietly, watching pedestrians stroll about the square.</p>
<p>Suddenly, a thought struck her. </p>
<p>No, no.</p>
<p>She'd been traveling for weeks, surely after killing that Trump idiot on Earth almost two months ago, the Harper's Rose would've come back.</p>
<p>She checked.</p>
<p>It hadn't reappeared in her pocket.</p>
<p>Which meant only one thing.</p>
<p>Celi Nightbane's thirty-eighth most prized item was lost on Earth, of all fucking places. </p>
<p>Ari had a special hatred for Earth. </p>
<p>Most of its governments were spectacularly corrupt, humans (despite being a sentient species) still killed each other with delight, and they didn't even know that magic existed.</p>
<p>And still the place was buzzing with all sorts of poorly performed magic.</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>Celi would get someone to find it, and Ari knew it wouldn't be her.</p>
<p>She'd just be sent on another mission to steal some other stupid cursed item.</p>
<p>(Really, though, Celi could at least give her an assignment that involved assassination of some sort.)</p>
<p>Ari sighed and drew up a portal, stepping through the swirling purple mists.</p>
<p>At least she'd have no cause to visit Earth for a while.</p>
<p>----------------------------</p>
<p>
  <em>10/10/2020, 12:25 </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>324 Emerald Drive, [REDACTED], United States of America, Earth</em>
</p>
<p>Ash woke up within two minutes.</p>
<p>It was partially because George, struggling to even lift the sword, hadn't hit her very hard.</p>
<p>(It was also because of something else, but you will learn about that later.)</p>
<p>"Jesus," she sighed. "If you were gonna knock me out, you could've at least kept me unconscious for longer."</p>
<p>Alexander, now awake, snorted. "If only you'd given me the same mercy."</p>
<p>"Alexander," Eliza chided. "Don't be rude."</p>
<p>"She fucking knocked me out, Betsy!"</p>
<p>"Pa, what does fucking mean?" Philip asked, also awake now.</p>
<p>"He'll tell you later. Right, <em>Alexander</em>?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. Yup. Sure."</p>
<p>Ash sat up angrily. "Who fucking knocked me out, anyway?"</p>
<p>Nobody dared reveal George as the guilty subject, mainly because Ash was glaring very harshly and nobody wanted to be thrown out a window.</p>
<p>"Well," Lafayette suggested. "I'd like it if we could give everyone else the presentation I got. It was certainly informative."</p>
<p>"Give me like ten minutes, make sure nobody else is-"</p>
<p>A crack echoed through the house, and five people were unkindly deposited in the living room.</p>
<p>Ash blinked, caught off guard.</p>
<p>"Okay. Yup. Presentation time."</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Presentations And Some Political Shit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>10/10/2020, 12:31</em>
</p><p>
  <em>324 Emerald Drive, [REDACTED], United States of America, Earth</em>
</p><p>"Alright. We've got Lafayette, Jefferson, our most dearly beloved antagonist King George, Hamilton, Angelica, Eliza, Hamilton 2.0, Theodosia, Burr, Laurens, Mulligan, Peggy, Maria, Samuel Seabury, George fucking Washington, and James fucking Madison. All present and accounted for."</p><p>Kelsey barked.</p><p>"And Kelsey," Ash added. </p><p>"Now, I take it you all know each other? Right, yeah, good."</p><p>She hit a button on a remote, going to the second slide of her presentation. "Dunno why I even made this, but I guess it comes in handy, huh?" </p><p>A few audience members nodded silently.</p><p>"Anyways, I'm Ash Jameson. Trans lesbian, twenty years old, ADHD, communist, author. Um, I am in the process of writing a fantasy series about a bunch of badass women and enbies with, like, magic and shit."</p><p>Little did she know that that fantasy series had become a reality the second Ari lost the Harper's Rose.</p><p>But shush. That's a surprise. Don't tell Ash.</p><p>"I live alone- well, I used to live alone with my dog, Kelsey. Uh, yeah, this is 324 Emerald Drive, in the good old US of A, on fucking Earth-"</p><p>Jefferson raised his hand. "What state?"</p><p>"Dunno. Can't tell you. Government property. Top secret," Ash shrugged.</p><p>"Why do you live on government property?" he pressed.</p><p>"I was a test subject," she announced, throwing all caution to the metaphorical winds. "They wanted to test this new immortality and super strength chemical on kids."</p><p>"And your parents allowed that?" Eliza gasped, horrified.</p><p>"Eh, they never loved me anyway. I was too feminine for them."</p><p>"You're feminine?" Alex asked unbelievingly.</p><p>"Too feminine, just not masculine enough. Homophobia, y'know. Didn't want a gay boy."</p><p>Ash paused to consider it.</p><p>"Funny, really," she noted, tilting her head, "how two grown fucking adults thought I'd even be into men. Of course, they also thought I was a man, so their observational qualities are quite questionable."</p><p>"Why would-"</p><p>"Shush. I'll get to it. Anyway, it is the Year of Our Lord Two-Thousand-Twenty, and I shall recap historical events for you."</p><p>"Starting when?" Samuel asked nervously.</p><p>It was the first thing he'd said since his arrival.</p><p>(Alexander had kindly identified him by shouting very loudly and very rudely the second he laid eyes on the Loyalist.)</p><p>"Let's see," Ash shrugged. "Oh! Okay. Uh, the Big Bang, apparently."</p><p>Lafayette groaned, knowing what awaited them all.</p><p>"Shut up, connard. So, um... universe! It explodes. Into existence. What a fucking icon. We stan. Uh, thousands of billions of years pass or whatever. Earth is created. Life is created because carbon and oxygen did some shit, I dunno. Giant reptiles called dinosaurs! They die! More shit! It dies! Monkeys! Monkeys become human! Human now exists! Okay!"</p><p>Ash paused to gulp for air.</p><p>"So now every living human lives in Africa, specifically near the Euphrates and Tigris Rivers in a valley called Mesopotamia. This is when most historians speculate that the myths of the Pleiades begin. Uh, blah blah blah, humans move to Asia. And then America, over a landbridge. Society!" Ash sang.</p><p>(It was a reference to The History Of The World, or something. I don't know.)</p><p>"Several societies! Then Europeans start existing! They colonize shit! Very bad. Very, very bad. They also invent shit, but a lot of the shit they invented was already invented by either Central Americans or Arabs. The only thing I can really think of that Europeans invented was alcohol. Oh, and capitalism. It's bad. I'll explain about it later."</p><p>Alexander looked very offended. </p><p>"Um, British people commit war crimes! They massacre Native Americans. Like, wipe out entire tribes. Unspeakably bad. Anyway, colonies form. Time passes. Then <em>someone</em>-"</p><p>Ash stared very hardly at Washington for a good twenty seconds. </p><p>"Started the French and Indian War. Georgie here is bad with money. He's in debt. He taxes his morally corrupt colonies in America. They get mad. Some asshole named John Adams-"</p><p>"Thank you," Jefferson sighed. "I keep telling everyone he's a fucking asshole."</p><p>"Historical you is worse," Ash snapped. "But, uh, you write the Declaration of Independence after he talked you into it. War! <em>Fuck</em> war. War is stupid. Uh, Hamilbitch here and Laffy Taffy meet, Hamilbitch falls in love with <em>both</em> Lizzie here <em>and</em> with Freckles-"</p><p>Laurens fell out of his seat.</p><p>"War ends, America's a thing... y'all know all this already. Uh, Freckles dies. Sorry. RIP you, I guess. Tough luck, lover boy. Hmm, yeah, then Poet and Lollipop here are born, shit happens, government is made. It's inherently corrupt, too. You kinda failed."</p><p>"Did not!" Alex protested.</p><p>"Did too!"</p><p>"No," Washington sighed. "It works-"</p><p>"It inherently upholds a racist, sexist, classist society! Fuck off!" Ash yelled. "Um, more shit, more shit... Hamilton dies."</p><p>"Wha- how? Who? When?"</p><p>"July 1804, my most dearly beloved Aaron Burr shoots you. Only a small part of why he's my favorite, but he's my favorite nonetheless."</p><p>"And I'm your least favorite?" Jefferson yelled.</p><p>"Historical you is. I mean, come on! Seriously? The Louisiana Purchase? Being a slaveowner? Not cool, bitch!"</p><p>Ash was furiously clicking through her slides.</p><p>"Um, you do remember Lewis, right? Yeah, you wouldn't remember the Louisiana Purchase or even the 1800 election, but you should know him."</p><p>"Meriwether? Yeah, what about him?" Jefferson challenged.</p><p>"He dies in 1809. Big fiasco. Nobody knows whether it's suicide or murder. Pretty much one of America's first unsolved cases slash conspiracy theory."</p><p>Jefferson blinked and sat back, stunned. </p><p>"Uh, society evolves. Manifest Destiny, which sucks. We get the entire continent except Canada and half of Mexico. Well, we get a bit of Canada. A big bit, but not compared to Canada. Just big compared to the US. Um, and some islands. We get islands. Colonization. Fucking hate it."</p><p>Ash fixed her hair. </p><p>"Boom! World war. Boom! Other world war where lots of people die. Nazis are bad. Communists kill Nazis. America hates communists, which, if you think about it, is a really telling sign. We nuke Japan! Twice. Cold war! Boom! Civil rights.  Fake communism dies off in Russia. Ronald Reagan. Gay rights. And now..."</p><p>"Who's President now?" Peggy interjected. "Shouldn't you tell us that?"</p><p>Ash grimaced.</p><p>"Well..."</p><p>"Go on, young lady," Washington prompted. "Tell us?"</p><p>"It's a fucking asshole. Again. Racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, misogynistic, pedophile, straight up idiot. Donald Trump. Been bankrupt like four times. Literally the only good thing he ever did was get COVID."</p><p>"Get what?"</p><p>"Oh. It's a virus. Global pandemic now. And naturally America's done like nothing."</p><p>"Jesus," Laurens murmured.</p><p>"Yeah. Add that to the societal tension and national uprisings, and the upcoming election, and you might as well pray to every god there is."</p><p>"There's only one God, tho-" Jefferson began.</p><p>"Silence, Christian!" Ash commanded. "I desire not to hear thy voice speak in such blasphemous tongues again."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Shut the fuck up," Alex translated all too happily. </p><p>"I'm sure there are many vey nice people who agree with you, and multiple religions which are monotheistic that I will respect to the best of my ability," Ash spat. "But let this be clear: shut up about religion around me. Refrain from discussing God."</p><p>"But you swear-"</p><p>"Yes, Seabury, I do indeed swear by the names of your holy figures. But given that Christians immensely traumatized me at a very young age, I would consider that only the beginning of fair revenge."</p><p>The room fell silent very awkwardly, with Ash breathing heavily. </p><p>Finally, Laurens raised his hand.</p><p>"Okay, I have a few questions?"</p><p>Ash nodded. </p><p>"Okay, first, what's a trans lesbian and whats an ADHD communist? Second, what's civil and gay rights? Third, why are you so rude?" </p><p>Their host snorted, brushing her hair back. "Okay, first off, trans lesbian takes way too much time to explain. An ADHD communist is someone who's a communist and has ADHD. Which, uh, is a neurodivergency. And shit."</p><p>Laurens waited. </p><p>"Oh, communist is when you believe in communism. That will- actually that's gonna take even longer to explain. I'm rude because I don't know how to act around people and also I have very little patience and an extraordinarily quick temper."</p><p>"And gay rights?"</p><p>"Yeah," Mulligan called. "Explain the gay thing."</p><p>Ash sighed. "Okay. Get comfy."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>10/10/2020, 1:03</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>324 Emerald Drive, [REDACTED], United States of America, Earth</em>
</p>
<p>Ash pulled a chair up and fell into it. </p>
<p>"Okay, kids, listen up. So, being gay, or LGBTQ+, is a very cool thing that a lot of people needlessly hate. It is not easy. But it's neat as fuck.</p>
<p>"So," she continued. "The LGBTQ+ community is made up of a lot of different identities, so I'm just gonna cover the basics here. From the L to some of the larger identities hidden in the plus. Okay?"</p>
<p>Her audience nodded, still confused from the rambling presentation she'd given earlier. Luckily, Ash seemed to be much calmer now. </p>
<p>"The L stands for lesbian. Think Sappho on the Isle of Lesbos. It means, generally, a woman or non-binary person who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to women and generally only women.</p>
<p>"That's me," Ash grinned, "and probably a couple of you. Peggy, for example.</p>
<p>"The next letter is G, which stands for gay. Although gay has now come to also stand for being LGBTQ+, it originally meant a man who's into other guys. Homosexual. Uh, y'all probably know it as sodomy, which is actually kinda homophobic if you think about it. Er, Freckles, why the fuck are you blushing so hard? You too, Seabury, you look like a fucking tomato drizzled in ketchup that got sunburnt."</p>
<p>"He's ginger," George defended. "And pale."</p>
<p>"Yeah, neither of those mean fucking cherry-red, though," Ash pointed out. </p>
<p>"Anyway, this next one is one that I strongly suspect many of you will identify with. The B is bisexual, or being into more than one gender. This is an umbrella term, meaning that there are several other identities which are commonly perceived as it. However, it's usually defined as being attracted to both men and women. Not that those are the only two options, of course, but you get the point."</p>
<p>Alexander looked away furiously. </p>
<p>(So did Jefferson, but Ash had suddenly developed a habit of not looking at him.)</p>
<p>"Then comes the T. Transgender. It's defined as not identifying with your gender at birth. That's me. Doctor took one look and said "man". I took five years and said "wait a fucking minute bro that's not right". So I transitioned, and now I am the hottest fucking lady I've ever met."</p>
<p>(Arguably, I would say that Vhaera and Eilialie are hotter, with a courteous footnote for Ari, but I'm also slightly biased because I went to school with them. Or it may just be because fucking bodybuilders like Jameson aren't my type.)</p>
<p>"A large subset of this is non-binary," Ash laughed (for no reason), "which just means you're not a man or a woman. In the middle, completely off the line, or lost in a Waffle House, take your pick."</p>
<p>Lafayette considered this slightly. </p>
<p>(Ash didn't notice that, but she also noticed very little of a lot of shit, so we'll let that slide.)</p>
<p>"Q stands for queer. It's the largest umbrella term, as it covers every LGBTQ+ identity. Some use it, some don't, it's a matter of personal preference. All it means is that you're not cisgender, where you identify with your gender at birth, heterosexual and heteroromantic, where you're only into the opposite sex. It's okay to be queer, it's okay to not be, you're cool either way. </p>
<p>"Then there's the identities in the plus. Specifically, asexual and aromantic. Asexuals aren't sexually into anyone, but romance might be an option. Aromantics are the opposite. No romance, maybe sex. Who knows?"</p>
<p>Ash clapped her hands.</p>
<p>"Anyways, you all did wonderfully. Last time I tried to explain that to someone, I ended up with glitter all over my house. Earned me the permanent nickname of 'glitter bitch'." </p>
<p>Burr chuckled. </p>
<p>"Hmm," George murmured, whispering something to Sam.</p>
<p>"Anyway, if any of y'all ever wanna come out to me, feel free," Ash shrugged. "Not really like I have anything else to do."</p>
<p>She skipped out of the room, leaving a dazed group behind her.</p>
<p>———————————</p>
<p>
  <em>October 10, 2020, 3:41 AM</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Nature Academy, Planet #00001 </em>
</p>
<p>Caroline dropped her quill with a sigh.</p>
<p>"Mother of dragons," she cussed. "Who even gives a shit about algebra?"</p>
<p>"Lesterlas," her roommate, Aisodair, groaned. "Only Lesterlas."</p>
<p>"Fuck Lesterlas."</p>
<p>"Seconded," Aisodair muttered, tucking her pen behind one of her horns. </p>
<p>"And Nimlon assigned us an in-depth study of a world's government. All the good ones already got picked!"</p>
<p>"Well, you signed up for sixth-period politics. You could've gotten into the first-period class with Cedar, but you insisted on taking classics then."</p>
<p>"Fifth-period classics would've conflicted with my strategy class," Caroline reminded. "A decision I regret daily. At least I didn't fucking take physics like you."</p>
<p>"Physics is fun. You signed up for algebra."</p>
<p>"Don't rub it in! Last year was equations and shit. That was neat. This, though? What the fuck is a correlation coefficient and a residual? Isn't that like a stain?"</p>
<p>"A residual stain, yeah. Anyway, what world did you end up with?"</p>
<p>"<em>Earth</em>."</p>
<p>"Oh, good luck. I got Nimlorth, so I don't get to do the 'visit your world' thing. I'm kinda surprised Nessa didn't pick her own world, but she seemed fine with Falirn."</p>
<p>"Nessa got Falirn? Nessa? Nessa?!" Caroline shrieked. "But that's where I'm from!" </p>
<p>"I know," Aisodair said patiently. "But Leto took Kalakas, so we both get to struggle."</p>
<p>"Hey, at least you got a magical world."</p>
<p>"A poisoned one."</p>
<p>"A magical poisoned one. I got fucking Earth. Earth!"</p>
<p>"They invented coffee," Aisodair said, still focused on the physics homework strewn across her bed. "You like coffee. And musicals."</p>
<p>"Those were more of an Idrainian thing, though."</p>
<p>"Yeah."</p>
<p>Caroline fell silent, fidgeting with the end of her pen in an attempt to bolster creativity. </p>
<p>She gave up. </p>
<p>"What's x-7y=67 and x+4y=22 and how do I solve it?"</p>
<p>"Subtract the second equation from the first one," Aisodair prompted immediately. "Then simplify and solve."</p>
<p>"-6.1?"</p>
<p>"Roughly, yeah."</p>
<p>The quill started running across the paper, Caroline's fingers gripping it almost too tightly. </p>
<p>"Oh my fucking scales. Mother of fucking dragons. I'm going to sleep."</p>
<p>"Leave the lights on."</p>
<p>"Mkay."</p>
<p>As Caroline dropped onto her bed, though, something caught her eye. </p>
<p>It was that annoying little fracture in the sky that had appeared near the beginning of August.</p>
<p>Well, technically, it wasn't.</p>
<p>It was more the fact that the fracture had vanished completely.</p>
<p>Puzzled, Caroline stared at the little spot where it used to be.</p>
<p>How odd.</p>
<p>————————-</p>
<p>
  <em>10/10, 2020</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>1:52</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>324 Emerald Drive</em>
</p>
<p>Lafayette was perplexed, to say the least. </p>
<p>He'd just been shown to his new room by the lovely little girl named Ash, and it was quite a marvel. A soft and large blue bed sat in the corner, there were hundreds of books on neat shelves, a desk stood tall by the wall, and he got his own window. </p>
<p>It was nothing like the cell in Magdeburg.</p>
<p>He shivered at the memory.</p>
<p>What a stroke of luck it had been. </p>
<p>God, perhaps?</p>
<p>But why would God deliver him into the hands of- well, someone like his new friend? Surely it must not be God, for why would God associate with someone who not only did not believe in him, but fairly hated him?</p>
<p>Magic, Lafayette assured himself. Like what Ash writes about. </p>
<p>He was actually very right about that. It was indeed magic. </p>
<p>(Also God did not in fact care at all to associate with Ash. One doesn't, after all, try and befriend your superiors.)</p>
<p>Lafayette traced the spine of one of the books on the shelf nearest the bed. </p>
<p>"<em>The Princess Bride</em>," he read aloud, tilting his head to read the words engraved on the soft leather.</p>
<p>He tugged the book out from its place and opened it.</p>
<p>It was clear that it hadn't been read before, from the way the pages stuck together and the spine cracked. </p>
<p>Odd, really, since Ash had called it her favorite book. </p>
<p>Lafayette pulled out the book next to it and randomly flipped it open.</p>
<p>As luck would have it, it was <em>1632</em>. </p>
<p>The first word that caught his eye was <em>Magdeburg</em>. </p>
<p>He promptly shut it and shoved it back onto the shelf. </p>
<p>Someone knocked at the door.</p>
<p>"Come in," Lafayette called, whirling around to face the door. </p>
<p>Ash poked her head in, eyes sparkling. "Sup. Settling in well?"</p>
<p>"What <em>happened</em>?"</p>
<p>"Wha- oh, this?" Ash laughed, pointing at the bruise on her cheek. "I tripped down the stairs."</p>
<p>"Incredible." </p>
<p>Ash walked in and shut the door behind her. "Nice room. It's like my second favorite, after mine. I painted those leaves, on the door. Took me a solid afternoon."</p>
<p>Lafayette nodded. </p>
<p>"Anyway, I just came to check on you-"</p>
<p>"You don't get out of the house much, do you?"</p>
<p>"-and now it's gonna be a therapy session. Lovely."</p>
<p>He raised an eyebrow, waiting. </p>
<p>"No, actually. As far as I can remember, I've been out of the property once." </p>
<p>"Oh?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. I don't get allowed outside the property, and the outdoors never quite suited me anyways."</p>
<p>"What was the one time you were allowed out?" </p>
<p>Ash laughed and sat down at the desk, fingers tapping on the wood. "I used to have a therapist. Lovely lady. Once she decided that I needed a change of scenery after I had a breakdown during a session. She took me to a little meadow in a forest. I remember I spent the whole car ride staring out the window asking her what everything was. She gave me a fluffy pink dress with strawberries to run around in."</p>
<p>She smiled ruefully. </p>
<p>"That was the last time I saw her."</p>
<p>"That sounded lovely," Lafayette murmured. "You seem very fond of this therapist lady."</p>
<p>"Yeah," Ash grinned. "She had blue hair and like three cats. Got me my ADHD diagnosis. We didn't work on any trauma, though. I refused to open up, and eventually she stopped trying and just talked about life and shit." </p>
<p>"Then the CIA stepped in, I surmise."</p>
<p>"Probably."</p>
<p>Lafayette sat on the edge of the bed, holding onto the edge tightly. "You sound sad."</p>
<p>"Oh. Sorry."</p>
<p>"No need to be sorry."</p>
<p>"I- I know. Habit."</p>
<p>Her fingers were moving quicker now, tapping out a fast-paced and intricate rhythm.</p>
<p>
  <em>One-two-three-four-five, one-two-three-four-five. Snap.</em>
</p>
<p>It was simple, yet quite complex at that speed. </p>
<p>Lafayette tore his thoughts away from that and began gazing more closely around the room. </p>
<p>Ash spoke, shattering the tense silence. "You picked a book."</p>
<p>"The one you said you liked."</p>
<p>"Yeah. It's good."</p>
<p>"This one doesn't look read at all, though."</p>
<p>"It's a new copy. I have my own one. Both the covers have fallen off. But, y'know, it's mine." </p>
<p>"Fair."</p>
<p>The pair sat in silence for a long time. Ash tapped incessantly on the table, speeding up and switching rhythms occasionally. </p>
<p>Something crashed above them.</p>
<p>"Dammit," Ash sighed.</p>
<p>"Should we go see what happened?"</p>
<p>"Indubitably, my dear Watson."</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Available For Sale: One Dramatic Fucker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>October 10, Arindate 3</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Somewhere In The Tamalean Wilds</em>
</p><p>Ekkria crushed the bluebell under her heel, grinding the tiny flower into the blood-red dirt.</p><p>She had failed. Again.</p><p>The Harper's Rose was the key to everything she needed. If <em>certain</em> people got their hands on it, it would go very badly for her.</p><p>(Personally, I'd love it if everything went wrong for her. Just saying.)</p><p>Out of all the places it could have been lost, too. Not Kalakas, not Tarrae, not even Omega. </p><p>No, it had to be lost on Earth. Fucking Earth, with its grubby little humans and meager technology. </p><p>(And the anti-fascists. Ekkria thrived on the evil and destruction that fascists and imperialists carried everywhere they went. It gave her strength, fueled her, increased her power... you get the point.)</p><p>She stepped on another tiny flower, staining the soil, the pristine black leather of her boots gathering dust.</p><p>It was hopeless. Fucking hopeless. </p><p>She'd have to send in agents to do the killing. Take control of the weakest minds in the highest positions. </p><p>"Which are?" Ekkria muttered to herself. </p><p>The answer was plain.</p><p><em>America</em>. </p><p>Target America. Millions of people who silently agreed with fascism. Millions of targets. </p><p>And their leaders?</p><p>That was easy. </p><p>She'd simply find whoever that obnoxious brat Celi had tasked with finding the Rose and follow their steps. </p><p>Ekkria allowed herself a single hint of a smile. </p><p>There was no one around for thousands of miles. The only other sentient beings on the world were up North, in the Halls of Aedurnas. </p><p>Her smile deepened. </p><p>She had found a crack in the walls that had barred her for so long from reaching her goals. </p><p>And now?</p><p>First America. </p><p><em>Then the universe</em>. </p><p>—————————————</p><p>
  <em>10/10/2020, 2:01</em>
</p><p>
  <em>324 Emerald Drive, [REDACTED], United States of America, Earth</em>
</p><p>Ash Jameson had never been the sort of person to refrain from dramatics.</p><p>Naturally, when Jefferson and Hamilton, startled in the midst of their brawl in the library, only stared at her sudden entrance, she began quoting <em>The Phantom of the Opera</em>. </p><p>"Why so silent, good monsieurs? Did you think that I had left you for good?" </p><p>"The fuck?" Hamilton snapped. </p><p>"Okay," Ash shrugged. "Go back to beating each other's brains out. Adieu!" </p><p>She skipped out the door, flipping both men off.</p><p>"That girl's quite queer," Angelica murmured, turning the page in a book. "Very enigmatic." </p><p>Ash was, indeed, quite queer. </p><p>It was one of her better qualities. </p><p>She made her way down the flights of stairs, hoodie floating around her as she jumped down the steps. </p><p>Laurens was in the living room, immersed in one of Ash's copies of <em>Capital</em>. </p><p>"Hey, Freckles," Ash called, bursting through the door. "How's the book?"</p><p>"Interesting," Laurens reported, tracing the lines with a fingertip. "I like this author."</p><p>"Good, I have a lot by him. Do you want more soup? There's some left in the kitchen."</p><p>"I'm fine. Getting a bit bored of the linen analogy though."</p><p>Ash grinned and scrambled to the kitchen, mentally marking down the locations of her new housemates. </p><p>(She'd forget within seconds, but it's the thought that counts.)</p><p>"Oh, hey. Hi, Maria. What's up?" </p><p>Maria jumped in the corner she was curled up in and nearly hit her head on a cabinet. </p><p>"So," Ash continued, either unaware of Maria's near escape or completely not giving a fuck, "you and Hamilbitch, huh? Seriously, like, I don't blame you, your husbands's a douchebag and all that jazz, but he could've at least had taste. Like, pick some rich young socialite who isn't happily married with like six kids."</p><p>"Six?"</p><p>"Oh, right. Sorry. Wrong version. Musical Hamilbitch only has one kid. Sucks for him. Anyway, I always thought it was weird that James Reynolds sent you after Hamilton. I mean, we all know he's a sucker for a pretty face and a sad story, but honestly?" </p><p>Ash shoved a bowl of soup in the microwave and angrily pressed buttons. "Seriously, though, you straight-up radiate lesbian vibes. Flannels and cheesy Netflix movies and beanies and all that. Slightly less- ehm, <em>fluorescent</em>- as Peggy, but remarkably homosexual nonetheless."</p><p>"What?" Maria yelped. </p><p>"Take some time to think about it," Ash prescribed, "and try watching some nice gay kid's shows.  I have recommendations if you want."</p><p>John wandered into the kitchen, still holding the book, and immediately glanced over at Maria, who was very inconspicuously trying to nest herself into a corner.</p><p>"Hey, Freckles boy. Read the whole book yet?"</p><p>He shook his head, dropping the book on the counter in a very unorthodox manner. </p><p>——————————</p><p>
  <em>14:53, October 10, 2020</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Planet #69042, Earth</em>
</p><p>Cudite had never regarded hamburgers with any particular sense of affection. Yet there she sat, in a completely different timezone and an entirely different planet, at one of the outdoor tables at a slightly run-down Burger King in the middle of South Dakota.</p><p>Chassania's re-assignment had come as a surprise to everybody, including Chass. All Cudite had been told was that 'the client wanted utmost secrecy, and that did not fit Agent 104's best capabilities'. It was a load of utter horseshit like usual, but when you were in the Iekhollan trade, you had no other choice. </p><p>Cudite took a bite of the burger and winced. Slightly too hot. </p><p>She was tired as fuck, anyway. The journey from Iekholle, where it had been almost midnight, to Earth, where it was nearly 15:00, had taken a couple hours, and the travel-lag was starting to catch up with Cudite, as trained and tested as she was. </p><p>Something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. </p><p>Or rather, something that wasn't there. </p><p>Cudite had gotten used to the strange black cracks in the universe that hovered just out of sight.</p><p>They were gone. </p><p>Well, what did it matter?</p><p>She was on Earth, ready to lay the trap the client had gone over so hastily.</p><p>Three tables away, a tall blonde woman took a sip of Mountain Dew under the mask she'd reluctantly put on. Her sunglasses shielded the rest of her face from sight, and she was certainly dressed for the slightly chill weather. </p><p>But behind the mask, Ekkria smiled. </p><p>It was beginning.</p><p> </p>
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